Funny Jokes


Our main aim is to create fun among our visitors. Thats why we have started most demanding page

FUNNY JOKES in HINDI

on this blog. This page is a mixture of every type of Jokes like HINDI JOKES, SANTA BANTA JOKES ETC. So read these jokes, share and just creat fun. Happy Fun.























एक प्यार करने वाले जोड़े ने
आत्महत्या करने की सोची,
.
.
.


. लड़का पहले कूद गया,
लड़की ने आँख बंद कर ली,
और लौटने लगी,
.
.
. .
लड़के ने हवा में पैराशूट खोला और
चिल्लाया :
पता था साली चुड़ैल... तू नही
कूदेगी !
. .
बस उसी दिन से लोगों ने"लेडीज
फर्स्ट"
कहना शुरू कर दिया..
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)




Santa at petrol pump
Bhai 1rs ka petrol dal do.
Salesman: Bhai itna sara petrol
dalva ke kahan jana hai?
Santa: Jana kahan hai hum
to aise hi paise udaate hain!!




Maa beti se: Beti doodh ka glass pee lo
Beti:No mama
mujhe nai peena.
Maa: Beti agar doodh nahi
piyogi to badi kaise hogi?
Beti: maa apko bhi toh doodh pasand nahi,
phir bhi aap badi ho gai hain
Main bhi nahi piyungi
to badi ho jaungi.
Maa: Achi bachiyan zid nahi
karti,
Agar meri achi beti ho
to doodh pee lo
warna mei tum se khafa
ho jaungi.
Beti: OK mama,.
aap kehti hain toh mein doodh pee leti hoon . .
Aur is tarah us ki beti ne doodh pee liya..
Msg end tak kitnay gaur se padha hai
ki kab non veg  start hoga..
bus karo darindo
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Punjabi Couple Goes To England
There at Hotel
Punjabi to Waiter:- Sir, Most respectfully I beg to say that I am ill & can't come to school
Kindly Grant Me Tea  For 2 Please
Waiter is Surprised  But Understnds & Brings Tea 
Wife:- Wah ji, Tawanu Te Fur Fur English Auandi Ae
Husband:- Halley Te Main Paani Waastey Thirsty Crow Nai Sunaai 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek ladka aur ladki hotel mein gaye.
Waiter: Kya loge?
Ladki: Sabziyoo waali roti dena.
Waiter: What?
Ladka: Gaon ki hai, PIZZA maang rahi hai.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife = Where R u.?
Husband = I'm At "Bank".
Wife = Wow thats good I need 20,000 For new Cell Phone ,5,000 for new dress , 6000 for new shoes, 4000 for new purse, 5000 for my new cosmetics
Husband = Sorry ,
I mean
I am at Blood bank
"KHOON PIYEGI
KHOON ?"

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Girls vs Boys Jokes

JOKES KN GIRLS
JOKES ON BOYS













Definition of Marketing, Advertising, Telemarketing & Customer Feedback
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!” That’s Direct Marketing. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He’s very rich. Marry him.” That’s Advertising. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” That’s Telemarketing. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m rich. Marry me” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. That’s Customer Feedback .
Technically there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES- 1. HARD DISK lady : Remembers everything forever 2. RAM lady : Forgets about you the moment you turn off. 3. SCREENSAVER lady : just for looking 4. INTERNET lady : Difficult to access 5. SERVER lady : Always busy when needed 6. MULTIMEDIA lady : Looks beautiful but you can only look. 7. VIRUS lady : This type of lady is normally called 'WIFE', once enters your system, never leaves even if the system is formatted.  Boy: Boys are always more intelligent than girls
Girl: Any proof?
Boy: We always say intelliGENTS, have u ever heard telling intelliLADIES..??;-)

Teacher & Students Jokes









1. Teacher:"This is the fifth time this week that i have had punish you What do you have to say?
Student: "Thank god Saterday and Sunday are holidays, Sir!"


2. Small boy: "Dad , can you write in the dark?"
Father: "I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
Small Boy: "Your name on the report card."

3. Teacher: "How do you like your new house?"
Student: "Oh, we like it very much. I have a room of my own, each of my sisters has a room of her own. But poor Mum, she's still in with Dad."

4. Son: "Daddy, why did you put your thumb impression on my progress report instead of your signature?"

Father: "I don't want your teacher to think that anyone with your marks could possibly have a father who can read or write."

5. PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

6. Child: "Why do you send me to school for."
Mother: "To make a man out of you."
Child: "But my teacher makes everyday a cock out of me."

7. Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

8. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

9. TEACHER: what is the different between problem and challenge????
STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..






Non Stop Laughing with Short SMS Joke

Today's Jokes....


























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मांग भरने की सजा कुछ इस कदर पा रहा हूँ
की मांग पूरी करते-करते, अब मांग-मांग के खा रहा हूँ...!!!


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पापा: बेटी, बड़ी हो के क्या करोगी?
बेटी: शादी...
पापा: गलत बात है... अभी से किसी का बुरा नहीं सोचते...!

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पति ने पान खरीद के पत्नी को खाने के लिए दिया.
पत्नी: अरे... आप ने तो अपने लिए लिया ही नहीं..!
पति: में तो ऐसे ही खामोश रह सकता हूँ...!


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बीवी क्या होती है?
बीवी भगवन के प्रसाद जैसे होती है,
जिसमे चाहते हुए भी कोई नुक्स नहीं निकाल सकते;
श्रद्धा और मज़बूरी के साथ चुपचाप खाए जाओ...!


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पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पुरुषो को अप्सराए मिलती है.. औरतो को क्या मिलता है?
पति: कुछ नहीं; उपरवाला सिर्फ दुखी लोगो की ही सुनता है..!


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पत्नी: मैंने सुना है की स्वर्ग में पति-पत्नी को साथ में रहेने नहीं देते...
पति: पगली, तभी तो उसे स्वर्ग कहेते है.!


***********************************************************

मतदान करने के लिए उम्र 18 साल, और शादी के लिए 21 साल... ऐसा क्यू?
क्यू की, सरकार जानती है, की
बीवी संभालना, वो मुल्क सँभालने ज्यादा मुश्किल है...!


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FRIEND is- Asian Paints = जो दुनिया बदल दे...
GIRLFRIEND is- Everest Masala = जो टेस्ट में बेस्ट...
WIFE is-- Mosquito Coil = जो कोने-कोने से ढूंढ के मारे !


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ज़िन्दगी के शुरुआत "S" से होती है:
S से सूरज, सुबह, शाम, समय,....
उसके बाद: S से सगाई, शादी, फिर सांस, ससुर, साला, साली,
और फिर सत्यiनाश...!


***********************************************************

पति: डार्लिंग, तुम खूबसूरत होती जा रही हो...
पत्नी (खुश हो कर, रसोईघर में से): तुमने कैसे जाना?y
पति: तुम्हे देख कर रोटियां भी जलने लगी है...


***********************************************************

किसी को उसके फटे हुए जूते, मैले कपडे, पुरानी घडी, उतरा हुआ मुंह,.... इत्यादि चीजो से उसे गरीब ना मानो....
हो सकता है, की वो आदमी शादीशुदा हो.


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Doctors Jokes

Doctors Jokes are here.


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TEXT MESSAGES

1. पप्पू की माँ की तबियत ख़राब हो गई तो डॉक्टर ने कहा के माँ के २ टेस्ट होंगे
पप्पू ये सुन कर ज़ोर ज़ोर से रोने लगा और कहता
कि हे भगवान अब क्या होगा मेरी माँ तो अनपढ़ है.

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆


1. Mareez: Docter Sab, mujhe bhool janey ki bemari hai

Doctor: Aap ko ye bemari kab se hai?

Mareez: Konsi bemari. . ."(':')''

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2. Doctor mariz k piche bhag raha tha logo ne pocha kya hwa
Doctor
4 bar esa hwa hai sala dimagh ka oparation karwany ata hai or BAAL katwa k bhag jata hai

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3. Doctor ki shadi Nurse sy ho gai,
Dost ny Doctor sy poocha: suna yar,
kaisi life chal rhi hy?
Doctor:Yar kya kahon jab tk Sister na kahon sunti hi nhi.

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4. Mareez DocTor Se > DocT Sahab Mujhe Duur Ka Nazar Nhi AaTa..

DocT > Wo Asmaan Par Kia Hai?

Mareez > Chand..

DocT > Abey SaaLe Is Se Duur Kia FarishTe DeKhe Ga..!


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5. Gareeb mariz: Dr.mere paas paise nahi hain,
ap mera elaaj kar dein to kabhi apke kaam aunga

Dr: kya kaam karte ho?

Mariz: qabar khodta ho.


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6. Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?
Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai ki sishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : I mean dawai le li thi?
Santa : Ji aapne di to meine le li thi.
Doctor : Bewkoof dawai pee li thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai to laal thi.
Doctor : Abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha?
Santa : Nahi sir peelia to mujhe tha!!!



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JOKES IN HINDI

Some jokes look funny only in Hindi so we are presenting Special page Jokes in Hindi

एक प्यार करने वाले जोड़े ने
आत्महत्या करने की सोची,
.
.
.
. लड़का पहले कूद गया,
लड़की ने आँख बंद कर ली,
और लौटने लगी,
.
.
. .
लड़के ने हवा में पैराशूट खोला और
चिल्लाया :
पता था साली चुड़ैल... तू नही
कूदेगी !
. .
बस उसी दिन से लोगों ने"लेडीज
फर्स्ट" कहना शुरू कर दिया..

Latest jokes

In Latest Jokes page, you can find most newest jokes. You can send these jokes to your nears and dears. As these are new jokes so send these jokes as soon as possible.
Wife-Aji sunte ho ghar me Namak khatam ho gaya hai daal Me kya daalu. 
Husband-Dimaag to hai hi nahi naya Colgate active salt daal De usme namak hai.. 
:D


When words r not enough 2 express urs feelings
 . . . . . . Then . . . . 
it means that u need 2 improve your vocabulary :P 



Newton, Einstein ka favourite song . . . 
Baithe baithe kya karen karna he kuch kaam 
Chalo banaye formula aur kare bacho ka jeena haraam:-P:-D .

.
Bhikhari:- bhagwan k naam pe kuch de do.. Man:- meri MBA ki degree h chahie to le le Bhikhari:- nahi chahie tuje meri M.TECH ki chahie to tu le le... 

Ek ladka party me ayi aunty ko uske ghar chorne gya.
Ghar pahunch ke: 
Aunty - beta raat bhut ho gyi ha, aisa karo tum bittu ke rum me so jao. 
Ladka- nai aunty ma yha sofe pe so jata hu. 
Mrng me sunder c ladki chai lekar ayi to: 
ladka- aap kon.
Ladki- ma bittu or aap.
Ladka- ma bewkoof.


Santa Clas M Has Rha Tha Ek Ladki Boli 
stand up, Kaun Ho Tum 
Santa:Tum Kon Ho 
Ladki:Me MONITOR Hu 
Santa:Hahaha Tere din gye pagli,ab LCD ka zamana h.


Angrej ko rat me bhut machr kaat rhe the. Usne Gusse me Sari Lite Bnd Krdi. Tabhi Room me JUGNU Aya! 
Angrej-Oh No! India ka Machr Sala Torch Lekr dhund rha hai.


 .. पुलिस (संता से)- आप बेल्ट पहनकर ड्राइव कर रहे हो आपको पांच हजार का इनाम दिया जाता है आप इसका क्या करोगे।
संता- मैं इससे अपना ड्राइविंग लाइसेंस बनवाऊंगा..


संता-बंता को रास्ते में दो बम मिले।
संता (बंता से)- चल पुलिस को देकर आते हैं।
बंता (संता से)- अगर कोई बम रास्ते में फट गया तो?
संता- झूठ बोल देंगे की एक ही मिला था..!!


संता (बंता से)- हमने चौकीदार को निकाल दिया।
बंता (संता से)- क्यों?
संता- साला चौकीदार वो था और रात को हम पर चिल्लाता है जागते रहो।


लड़की- परसों मैं तुम्हें राखी बांधने आयी थी, पर तुमने नही बंधवायी, क्यों?
लड़का- अगर मैं तेरे लिए मंगलसूत्र लाऊं तो क्या बंधाएगी।

2 कॉकरोच आई सी यू में साथ-साथ एडमिट थे।
पहला- किसने मारा?
दूसरा- अरे किसी ने नही, एक लड़की मुझे देखकर इतनी जोर से चिल्लायी की मुझे हार्ट अटैक आ गया।


डॉक्टर (मरीज से)- आप डरिये मत, मैं हूं ना।
मरीज (डॉक्टर से)- वही मेरा सबसे बड़ा डर है डॉक्टर।


Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi.
to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi


Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha




Boy to friend: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai.

Friend: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli bar tumari shakal dekhi thi to 3 din apni hassi nahi rok paya tha.


Train mein ik mosquito Funny Chinese ke sir pe aa baitha. Vo us ko pakar ke kha gaya.

Fir ik matchar Bania pe baitha. Us ne pakar ke Chinese ko poocha “khareedoge kya !!!”




Ek 10 saal ka kid bohot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: "Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare".

Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Funny Kid: Mein yeh dekhna chahta hun ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.




Funny Lalu found answer to the most difficult question ever: What came first- the chicken or the egg?

"Hum jiska order pehle dunga, vahi pehle ayega na!"







Send Text Messages to Cell PhonesSend a Message to a Cell Phone (more info)
Cell phone: Optional Subject: If agree to the terms press

COMPUTER JOKES



Santa Clas M Has Rha Tha
Ek Ladki Boli stand up,Kaun Ho Tum
Santa:Tum Kon Ho
Ladki:Me MONITOR Hu
Santa:Hahaha Tere din gye pagli,ab LCD ka zamana h.

BOLLYWOOD JOKES


HINDI SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS.. 
Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale -FEVER

Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi -HEART ATTACK 

Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kanhi baaki he: -CONSTIPATION 

Bidi jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag hai -ACIDITY 

Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karoon -CATARACT 

Tuje yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna -ALZHEIMER'S 

Mann dole mera tann dole -VERTIGO 

Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne aag lagayee -URINARY INFECTION 

Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha hai -HYPERTENSION 

Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen per nahin padte mere -CORN ON FEET 

Haay re haay Neend nahin aaye -INSOMNIA ..
                                                                                       Submitted by Neha

Valentine's Jokes

Santa Introduces His Family :-
1.) Ye Meri Biwi GOOGLE KAUR
Ek Sawal Pucho To Das Jawab Deti Hai:D
2) Ye Mera Beta FACEBOOK SINGH
Ghar Ki Har Baat Poore Muhalle Tak Pahuchata Hai:p
3) Aur Ye Meri Beti TWITTER KAUR. Pura Muhalla Raat Din Ise Follow Karta Hai:@
4) Aur Main Hu santa urf ORKUT SINGH
Ab Mujhe Koi Puchta Hi Nahi...;
gd Mng.

Friends Jokes



दो दोस्तो की बातचीत
पहला- मुझे सास अच्छी नही लगती।
दूसरा-लेकिन जरा सोचो तुम्हारी सास ना होती तो तुम्हारी बीवी कहां से आती?
पहला- यही तो रोना है ना सास होती ना बीवी।


3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?

The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!

April Fool Jokes

Here you can find jokes related to April Fool



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1st APRIL ko logon ko uloo banane ke 7 tarike:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Ye tha pehla tarika baki Baad main.




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A Day Will Come When the Whole World Wil Celebrte
Ur Name,
Ur Fame,
Ur Thoughts,
Ur Ideas,
But U Hav to Wait For 11 days
Till Ur Birthday ; April 1



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This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are
on the other three hundred and sixty-four.



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A day will come


When da whole world will, CELEBRATE:
UR NAME
UR FAME
UR PERSONALITY
UR THOUGHTS
UR VIEWS
Bt keep in mind,
April Fool comes once a year.
Congratulations!



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It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it & remove all doubt.



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Plz call me
its urgent
Ek accident ho gaya ha
.
.
Aap ka hi blood group chahiye
Plz manna mat karna
.
.
Warna
.
.
GADHA mar jayega..



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Rabri: Kya karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu: Wo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.



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Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then Make a Place,
4 Me in ur Heart!!
I May come there any time!
Ur's Faithfully,
HeArT aTtAcK...



************


If people says u are crazy, b patiend
if they say u r monkey, relax.
if they say u r stupid, b cool
but if they say u r smart,
Thapar mar sale ko.
(April Fool)



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In ur life, when u wake up & don't see any 1, then come 2 me, I'll b there 2 hold ur hand & take u 2 da EYE SPECIALIST



************


1st APRIL ko logon ko uloo banane ke 7 tarike:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Ye tha pehla tarika baki Baad main.



************


In larkion se dil lagana ek bhool hai


In k peeche itna bhagna fazool hai


Jis din kisi larki ne keh diya "I LOVE U"


Tou samajh jana us din APRIL FOOL hai.



************


U r equal 2 sixty james bond!


How??


007 * 60 = 420




************


Today, tommorow & forever there will b 1 heart dat would always beat 4 u.
U know Whose???
Ur Own Stupid!!!



************


The fool entertains. Da fool tells da truth. Da fool laughs at himself. Da fool is wise. Da fool can't be ignored. Da fool rules!



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Sardar got in2 a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked 4 ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took da ticket & said april fool.
I have pass.



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On this 1st april dont 4get 2 make fool ur frnds. We hve april fools jokes, april fool's day tricks, best april fools pranks, funny & great april fools day ideas,




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